Just how much more can he take?

Many changes going on. Not sure I'm ready for it all. Preston has regressions and a new aversion that is affecting his daily activities at school. When home, everything is so normal for us. Our normal. Then I get an email from the teacher and realize there really is a big difference. Then the worries about his future erupt.

Preston has many aversions as it is. To the point that on some days when his senses are overwhelmed, even the color of some one's eyes can send him into meltdown mode. This is our normal. It's all perfectly content in our home. Not the case when he's at school. He's experiencing quite a few setbacks on the behavior side of things. His reading and writing is improving wonderfully. He is so much closer to being on level with his peers that it's not even a consideration for him to repeat the grade. His speech is coming along very well. He's understanding concepts. He won't use a spoon anymore. His food options have reduced. He will eat something for me off a spoon if I feed him, but he is unable to handle using the spoon himself to feed himself. It's not that he can't hold the spoon anymore, but appears to be a sensory issue. He is unable to cope with the feelings of the spoon approaching his face. Unable to cope with the feeling of closing his lips around the spoon and the food slides off and onto his tongue, under his tongue, on his teeth. If the food is considered messy in any way to him (other than icing) then he will not eat it voluntarily. As an example, he loved the Yoplait Trix yogurt. Especially the cotton candy one. He loved the pastel pink and blue. Loved it. I loved it. He was eating a healthy item. I'm all about that. Then it all changed. "I can't eat that like that." So then he starts trying to lick the yogurt out of the container. Then he tries to squeeze the container to push the yogurt out. End result becomes such a mess. He does not like mess. Now yogurt is off his food choices. Pudding is off his food choices. If I feed him yogurt, then he will eat it. However, he is six years old. He is physically able. I can't allow myself to cater to that side and feed him. I have to be strong and work towards helping him get back to the point that he can cope with the sensations and eat with utensils on his own again.

Yet, there is a new aversion that is hindering him. To the point that eating his lunch at school is becoming difficult for him. Smell aversion is a big problem for us. He is extremely sensitive. To the point now that if any peer has a hamburger on their plate then he starts to gag by the smell and has to immediately move away. His teacher informed me that it's now getting to the point he is moving around a lot during lunch just trying to find a seat to be with his friends and also be able to eat his food. It's so bad now that he's eating alone. He is the child sitting at the corner table of the cafeteria all by himself. All because the smells are overwhelming him.

Not all the kids in the cafeteria know my son. They are spinning their own back stories as to why he is sitting over there. With no friends. Clearly he has no friends. Clearly he is the weird guy that needs to be laughed at. Oh and then there's the problem of what happens when my son is being laughed at. Preston does not like being teased. Preston does not like being laughed at. Even when he does something so cute and I, as his parent, giggle because it is just too cute. It's something that every single parent experiences. Watching their child do or say something so out of character it's absolutely adorable with a touch of natural humor. For Preston, that is a detrimental action. His feelings are hurt. His heart hurts. His anger builds at a remarkable speed. He is thoroughly enraged. He screams. He throws. He kicks. He slaps. He cries. He drops his arms defeated. He is thoroughly crushed. He withdraws into himself. He pulls away from everyone around him. He wants no one. He likes no one. He loves no one. He retreats to a depth that no one can reach him at. All of this emotion happens in a span of seconds. Mere seconds for all of this to go through him and completely exhaust him. This much from a situation at home. Now imagine it happening for every person at his school that has ever laughed or teased him. Daily. Hourly.

He's six years old and I'm worried about middle school. I'm worried about high school. His education alone is not my worry. What worries me is every single other life aspect that goes along with growing up. The experiences in middle school. The experiences in high school. Will he be able to cope? Will he ever be able to find employment? I'm not worried about him being able to do a job. It's all the steps that have to be encountered in order to get that job. The interview. The social aspect. One must be able to communicate effectively. One must be able to cope with diversity. My son is unable to communicate effectively with his peers. My son is unable to cope with diversity. It has been this way for years.

Oh sweet coffee! How I love you so!

It has been a rather chaotic schedule this week, competely out of routine. Those with schedule/routine dependent children understand how challenging the change in routine alone can be. Then add the changes. Whew! I don't remember ever being this tired when my second son was an infant, never slept, and I was still working full time! I'm just quite simply...E X H A U S T E D. Hopefully my change in coffee will help decrease the erosion of my stomach lining, since the coffee is being ingested in very large quantities. I'm talking drinking enough coffee in 2.5 Days that is normally a 14 Day schedule. Since I demand flavored creamer, this is creating a serious problem on my belly and hips, and my stock supply. I'm now out and I haven't even finished my one 16oz Cup of coffee. It doesn't have the required amount of creamer. I'm tasting a lot more coffee than I do sweetness. I don't add sugar to my coffee. It is only sweetened by my creamer. Then, I like my coffee light. Strong, sweet and light. Right now, *tears*, it's just strong. Oh, but I am still drinking it. With every sip I say a little prayer for my flavored creamers than we will meet again.

A major splurge that I do every other month or so is by going to Starbucks and I order...drum roll please...*giggles* yes, I have had many barristas question my sanity..."Yes, may I please have a quad venti Caramel Frappucino®. Yes, that is with 4 additional shots of espresso. Yes, blended please." I have yet been told of a more expensive coffee splurge. That special drink that I love so much (see, it's strong, sweet and light - not light on calories) costs me just under $9.00 with tax. At least this quarter. With our economy and inflation, the cost could go up next quarter. I don't care either. I will still buy my beautiful, wonderfully delicious beverage that is almost as good as reading a book by firelight on a cold winter's night. Know what would make that scene absolutely perfect? Drinking that coffee while reading a book by firelight on a cold winter's night.

It is rather interesting how I've come to this point in my life. As granny said to me once, "It's good to see dear that you are growing up. Would you like a cup of coffee with me?" You see, granny was a coffee drinker. She could drink it all day long, from dawn to dusk. Granny is my husband's grandmother. Everything about me simply amazed her and the fact that I was not a coffee drinker...well, that was a shock she just couldn't overcome. Then I had our second child. I was working full time and little man just would not sleep. My job was stressful and I had combined duties. Essentially 4 Positions - yes, I had 4 Job titles for one job. Looking back now, many years later, it was like I was working four jobs! That alone is exhausting and then add zero sleep to function. One morning, at the age of 30, enroute to take my son to daycare I chose to detour to the Starbucks around the corner. That morning was the start of my addiction. I started off slow, OK not slow but I wasn't drinking so many shots at first. As my stress grew, my coffee requests grew. I ordered more shots. I bought more coffee each day (one for breakfast, one at lunch, and there were days that I did a brunch run and an after lunch run). It has taken me a lot of time to work myself down from quite so much caffeine. My stomach lining was already ruined by my pregnancy and my coffee addiction did not help the situation. Guess what, I still refuse to stop drinking my coffee. I did agree to cut down and I have. I now use a much cheaper brand of coffee grounds and typically only drink one 16oz Coffee a day. That is quite an accomplishment considering where I was five years ago. I can also drink it hot instead of always "frozen". Oh sweet coffee! How I love you so!

Going green for housecleaning and basic hygiene

My entire family suffers from allergies. From skin to internal issues. Luckily none involve immediate medical attention. They do cause intense burning, itching, flaking, headaches...well, you get the idea. Being that our sons have autism and sensory processing disorder, I want to get rid of as many chemicals in my home as possible. If I can't control nature to help ease their suffering, then I can most certainly control what exposure to chemically induced allergies we have at home.

First start was to see what all products I need to buy in order to start. Interesting how I already have almost all of it. Problem? I hate the smell. No, really. I can't stand it. I have an increased sense of smell, so the scent of vinegar causes immediate headaches and my nose burns. Why? Sensitivity to the smell only. Solution? Essential oils!

I have now officially bought my starter set. I'm already in love and haven't even started making my batches yet. When I do, I will blog about each cleaning solution, the pros and cons, and will include the comparison to the old commercially produced cleaner I used.

This is the set I bought. You can purchase from them directly at Edens Garden. This is the Best of the Best set.

It was shipped via USPS and when I opened the flat rate box, my heart went pitter patter. My senses were in heaven. Each oil is concentrated and definitely stronger than what you would expect. Very little goes a long way. The lavender smells like fresh lavender flowers. Not the commercially produced lavender scented candles, baby bath wash, etc. The commercially produced scent is much milder in comparison.

As I start really working with these, then I will blog about the blends I make and I've used them. What worked, what didn't. One of my big goals is to help control dog odor. We have a Boxer that suffers severe allergies. He's recently developed an allergy to his food. What happens with dog odor when the dog is allergic to their food? They smell really bad. It's like someone suffering severe B.O. after not showering for a month. That's within the hour after he was just bathed. Poor boy. Yes, I'm already working on changing his food. In the mean time, while we are going through that process, I'm going to find a natural spray for his coat to help reduce the bad odor. I will also be working with a spray to help my anxiety ridden female dogs. One is a min-pin/beagle mix that suffered a traumatic injury resulting in the loss of a leg. Her mental state has never been the same.  The other is a Staffordshire and she is afraid of all loud noises, weather (high winds, rain, lightening, thunder). I really do not like the idea of giving my dogs man made medicine to help with their anxieties. Hopefully I can come up with an aromatherapy for them to help ease their fears and anxiety attacks.

Yes, I am a firm believer in aroma therapy. It really does work. Certain smells increase excitement, activity level, then some just brings calmness, awareness, and for those that suffer focusing issues...there are aromas to help maintain concentration, focus and memory.

I must get myself organized...

Or else I am going to lose my mind and my chaos will consume me. My body wouldn't be found for weeks. Or months. Heck, maybe even centuries. OK, maybe not quite that long.

I married a man that comes from old school upbringing. Where the lady of the house made sure it was always visitor ready. She always had unannounced visitors and at times nieces, nephews, and more would arrive one day and not leave for months. That would be summer break, yet for me that would feel like eternity of pallets on the floor and carefully stepping over tangled covers and limbs in order to get from one room to another. She always had it together. She always had clean dishes. Laundry was always done. Realistically she would have two loads that needed to be done, but it was never more than that and those two loads would be equivalent to one day's worth of clothes for everyone in the house. She also helped run businesses with her husband. She helped keep the books. She always had baked goods freshly made every day. She did all the cooking. Major cooking. No fast food. No quick in a bag put in the skillet and heat type meal.

So, in my effort to help get more organized and not lose all of my hair in the process, then I have created my weekly task list. My two little ones are really too little to realistically leave them in charge of certain duties. Helpers they are, but they are not ready yet to be released as project managers. My oldest son works nights so his sleep schedule has him sleeping days, which makes it difficult to expect him to help with normal chores. For him to help, then we run the risk of him waking his brothers. That is absolutely not going to happen. It's like that phrase, "SHHH! Baby sleeping!"

As long as I keep on schedule with my chart, then my chores are done before it's lunchtime. I get really focused and stay on track, then I just might be able to have those tasks done before 10am. That would be wonderful! I'm not a fan of spending my entire day of only cleaning. I like to be busy. I like to visit people and be outdoors (weather permitting). I like to learn how to work cattle and all it entails. Eventually I'm going to start taking riding lessons so that I learn how to manage a horse better than I currently do (amateur and I've never been bucked off...*knocks on wood*).

Now, if I can just get my oldest to start filling me in on all the talk he's been having with a girl lately. Just so I am aware of all the excitement in his life. Share with each other.

...all the while I'm remembering that it's coming time to clean the shotgun. It has nothing to do with the fact that a female better not try to do something with my boy that should not be done.

Conner Milestones from old journal

Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Ultrasound
Well, I started spotting on 11/05/2006 (Sunday) and continued through Monday. My doctor requested I come in for an ultrasound just to check things. So, on Tuesday morning, 7:30am, I had my first ultrasound and saw my baby pea. So far things looked good. I just did too much on Sunday. Spotting stopped on Wednesday...WOOHOO!

Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Morning Sickness
Well, I'm pregnant. The early signs of morning sickness has arrived...I'm queasy.

Thursday, January 11, 2007
Felt Baby Move For The Tirst Time
After my stay in the hospital for the HG and virus, my mom brought me home today....just before leaving the house to pick up Preston at daycare I suddenly had these strange movements...I FELT HIM MOVE FOR THE FIRST TIME...4:00pm on Thursday, January 11, 2007.

Monday, February 05, 2007
Ultrasound Showed It's A Boy!!!!!
It's official...the ultrasound today clearly shows we are having a BOY!

Friday, June 15, 2007
Hold head up
Holding his head up at birth.

Saturday, June 16, 2007
First Bath
More of a sponge bath at the hospital by Mommy. Not happy about it at all because was undressed. Hates to be without clothing.

Friday, July 27, 2007
This morning was the first time he noticed his mobile and watched it through two cycles!

Monday, July 30, 2007
First Laugh
At his mobile then with family.

Wednesday, August 01, 2007
Lift head and shoulders with arms
He can lift his head and shoulders off surface (tummy time) with his arms and hold this position up to 30sec at a time.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Conner had his two month checkup and first set of shots.

Weighs 11lbs 10oz and 22"Length. Doctor says that he is in the 50% for height and weight and is exceeding milestones for strength and agility. He screamed during the shots but stopped almost immediately afterwards. He is suffering with them. He is holding a fever, sleeping excessively, barely eating, and is very cranky. Luckily these reactions only last three days (typically) and he will be back to himself for the weekend.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Well, another step is that he is teething. A ton of drool and "eating" his hands. He also wants his Soothie a lot more often than usual. My next huge tip off was when I gave him a bottle of Pedialyte (grape) right from the fridge and he loved it. The cold must have felt wonderful on his gums. So, I've felt and he has a somewhat hard spot on his front lower gum and a hard spot on his front upper gum. If we are lucky he will cut a few at a time and is able to get it over with quickly and not have to suffer as long.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Rolled Front to Back
He did it!!! He rolled himself from his tummy to his back three times in a row! How exciting!!!

Friday, October 19, 2007
Conner is cooing a lot more now and at times will squeal. He will also "yell" when he gets angry just before he starts crying. It is so cute!

Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Rolled Back to Front
For the first time this morning he finally did it! He has been trying so hard for a while now, and getting very frustrated, and he did it! Conner rolled from back to front!

Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Conner's first Thanksgiving was wonderful! He got to eat MawMaw's homemade sweet potatoes and LOVED them!

Monday, December 17, 2007
His first tooth broke through!

Friday, April 25, 2008
Conner is walking around furniture like crazy. On Wednesday, he took his first three steps without assistance (no holding on).

He now has four teeth with more coming. It's like he never has a break from teething. LOL He cuts two at a time.

He is now eating table food and likes to drink from brother's sippy cups.

Thursday, May 01, 2008
Today Preston started using his new markers and coloring when Conner climbed (he is climbing on everything) over the ottoman to where Preston was and grabbed a marker and started coloring! He colored several strokes before he tried to eat the marker! LOL

Sunday, June 15, 2008
Conner is now 1 Year old. He's growing up too fast!

Celebration delayed due to uncontrollable circumstances. Will have party on a later date. We must have his picture attacking his first birthday cake!

Tuesday, July 15, 2008
It's official. Conner now has two more teeth coming in. One on top, right and one on bottom, right. Explains his extra cranky mood, scary diapers (yes, they have frightened us all), and the very clingy personality. Heehee

I am so excited for him!!!

Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Conner now has two more teeth coming in, one top and one bottom. Pattern shows he is cutting two at a time. Good, less time he's miserable. He loves to eat on apples, whole. And if he's really lucky he gets to have two at a time, one in each hand. LOL It's too cute!

Thursday, March 05, 2009
The boys' favorite toys

As always Conner loves trucks, tractors, basically anything with engines. His "addiction" is Thomas the train sets. Goodness his attachment to these. He even sleeps with two trains! HAHAHA

Preston loves dinosaurs and exotic animals and always farm animals.

Both boys love the noisy toys. When their toys help make the noises (engine sounds, animal sounds, etc) then they are even more excited. It's too cute to see how joyous they become.

Hunter is into music. He wants to learn how to play guitar, wants a ton of cds (never does seem to have enough, hahaha), etc.

Sunday, May 17, 2009
Conner finally said Car today! He does have an evaluation with ECI later this month for sensory concerns and possible early symptoms of autism. I do know he has hearing issues (very sensitive to certain sounds). He doesn't suffer from ear infections often...very, very seldom. The appt is just a make sure kind of thing. Rather get info now instead of wait and see and then something does end up being an issue that we could have been working on all along. Proactive rather than reactive.

Astrology and my crew

Thought this would be funny, below are the astrological baby profiles for each of us as babies:

Mommy - The Rambo of the play group has arrived! With an Aries baby around, you can expect lots of action and activity in your midst. Don't expect this tot to sit still with a rattle -- it just won't happen. The Aries baby is one who makes a lot of noise and will definitely be heard. There's really no choice! As a Fire sign, the little Ram will be dynamic and always up to something. Will this be a tough baby to deal with? More than likely. To that end, parents would be wise to show this child how to work with other babies early on. Things such as sharing won't come naturally, they must be learned. Even where siblings are concerned, the Aries child won't be a walk in the park. What the Aries baby may want most of all, however, is attention, so parents be well advised. In a play setting, the Aries tot will easily get the attention of others on their own. This baby will also start many things early, the better to get to the finish line, so to speak, in a hurry. To sum up, the Arian baby can be quite independent but enjoys interacting with others. This baby is a fairly physical child and craves constant stimulation. They will be ready from day one!

Daddy - Is the Aquarius baby lonely? Well, it may certainly seem that way, but appearances can also be deceiving. This is a child who is a bit detached, even aloof, so that solo time may be exactly what they want. Even when crying! This kid would rather work out that hissy fit alone. This, of course, begs the question: could this tot use some socialization? Probably. Since this won't be the Aquarius baby's natural state, the company of others will become an acquired taste with much prodding from Mom and Dad. The Aquarius baby does have much they can teach others, since this child will pick things up early and differently. The rebel baby has arrived! Parents, sibs, and friends will quickly grow to expect the unexpected from the Aquarius tot. The companionship of friends and others will be quite important to the Aquarius baby, even if they don't know how to show it. For that reason, this is a pattern of behavior that should be encouraged. While the Aquarius tot can be stubborn at times and certainly into their own stuff, often their mind is engaged in creative pursuits which should be nurtured as much as possible. To sum up, the Aquarius baby is a talker, very bright, always thinking, and actually enjoying the company of others, despite appearances. Work with this baby, and they will shine!

Hunter - As a Water sign, the Cancer baby is likely to be more emotional than most. In a word: tears! This baby will probably cry a fair bit, so holding and touching are of paramount importance -- really anything to achieve comfort. Along these lines, this is a baby who needs to feel secure and will easily pick up any bad vibes in the household. Therefore, arguing in the presence of this child should be kept to a minimum. Family is very important to the Cancer baby, as is nurturing. As Cancer is the sign of the Mother, the elements of nurturing, family, and mood swings (think sensitivity and emotions) are highlighted. Also, because Cancer is the sign of Memory, the Cancer baby will retain memories from the past, both good and bad. This is a child who could get lost in the supermarket for two minutes and forever remember it as a sign of rejection from the mother! For this reason and others, this tot needs to be made to feel secure, especially within the family unit (family will always be more important to the Cancer baby than friends). The somewhat reticent Cancer baby will nonetheless surprise Mom and Dad by being fussy about food, so be sure to please that palate! To sum up, the Cancer baby is familial, must feel protected, and with any kind of luck, will learn to swim like a fish!

Preston - Parents of a Taurus tot are going to have to be very aware of this baby's need to be touched. Loving caresses and a tender touch are what the Taurus baby lives for! Along those lines, this is a child who needs to be comfortable. Things to keep in mind are providing a room and bed that are neither too hot nor too cold, food that is tasty (a budding gourmand has arrived!), soothing sounds, and whimsical toys. As Taurus rules the Second House, the House of Possessions, this baby's playthings will be very important. When it comes to the learning curve, the Taurus baby is not in a hurry to grasp new concepts. This tot will learn things at their own pace and be unresponsive to pressure, yet persevering in the end. In light of this, a gentle manner to get this baby to react and respond is the sensible course of action. Also familial in nature, the Taurus baby will enjoy having the family in close proximity, especially siblings. You can consider this baby a people person in general, as they are also likely to control the play circle where that well-known Taurean stubbornness will reveal itself! To sum up, the Taurus baby wants to be touched, will revel in delicious toys, and as an Earth Sign, will want to have both feet firmly planted on the ground!

Conner - Eager to get going (this baby probably kicked up a storm in the womb!), the Gemini baby is likely to be talking early and making a mark from day one. Curious and quite the explorer, this tot is one who needs lots of stimuli in order to be happy, as they are easily bored. Since those communication skills are top-notch, the smart thing to do with this baby is bring them into a play group as soon as possible. At home, siblings could easily fill this function, as someone must! It's never too early for the Gemini baby to interact with others, and they will also learn their lessons early on. The Gemini tot is definitely not clingy. Quite the contrary, this is one baby who is happy to march to their own drummer, gallivanting about and being amused in the process. Surprisingly, when this baby is not engaged (chatting or playing with others), there could be a certain emotional detachment. For that reason, it's best to keep things uncomplicated and easy for them to understand, the better to maintain harmony. To sum up, the Gemini baby is the Great Communicator of the play group, has a short attention span (so keep 'em busy!), and is one clever and creative tot.

Old journal about third pregnancy and life

I wish I was able to have this for my first and second pregnancies. Would have loved to have these memories and family history to share. This is not a complete journal so I'm now going to turn this into a blog about my life and experiences.



Thursday, November 30, 2006

What Is Hyperemesis Gravidarum?

HG is a debilitating and potentially life-threatening pregnancy disease marked by rapid weight loss, malnutrition, and dehydration due to unrelenting nausea and/or vomiting with potential adverse consequences for the newborn(s).

Well, Monday evening I started vomiting - profusely. By 10:30 the next morning I was calling my doctor for guidance. I was rushed to the hospital and was not released until today. I'm finally home with a rather detailed breakdown of modifications I have to endure. And take a very expensive pill. If it continues, I will be back in the hospital for more IV fluids. If possible, the doctor may request for a homecare service to administer the IV fluids at my home. 'Course his main concern is that if it turns into the severity it was when last pregnant - homecare will not be a factor. I was vomiting blood during my last pregnancy and I borderlined death during delivery. So, now the treatments are more aggressive. The only way I got to come home today is because I have not "technically" vomited since 8:00am yesterday. I am nauseated now, so that means I will be sick today. This stuff is crazy! I do not wish this for anyone! I am useless while going through this. It takes a lot of hard work just to wash my hair and I have a baby to take care of. Oh, and I can't pick him up! How do I tell my 18m old that his mommy can't pick him up for at least another month! I am a very strong and collected woman. Nothing could keep me down, nothing! Till now. Why is it that I can't go through a pregnancy normally like most women?! Why do I have to be the special one that is afflicted with this?! Statistics say 1 in 200 women experience this and it normally only lasts through the 1st trimester and partly the second. Nope! Not me! I have to endure it the entire pregnancy! I went through it with my first child, but is wasn't as severe. Went through it with second child and it was severe! I was ignorant and kept waiting till I was in the worst shape possible to call the doctor. At least I learned from that mistake and will not wait till it's too late for aggressive treatment without week long hospital stays. I need to be with my family, more than they could possibly imagine.

Thursday, December 07, 2006
Well I went to the ER Tuesday afternoon for more fluids and meds for the severe nausea and dehydration. I got to go home that night, after feeling like one of the cattle being herded out. Went to the doctor this morning and have not lost any weight, technically good news, and I also haven't gained any weight (good news for me). I started out slightly heavier than I would hope to be anyway, so not gaining a few pounds makes me happy. hahaha Because the illness has become debilitating my doctor has pulled me off work for the next week. If it can't get under better control then he may pull me off until delivery in order to help maintain any strength I currently have for delivery - that is far down the road.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007
It's been a tough holiday season. I'm happy to know that this is not going to last forever and that I will have a precious baby in my arms in June. Also, we are having one. No twins. In February we will know for sure the gender. Currently, it sounds (by heartbeat) that it is a girl. We'll "see" for sure in another month. One med became way too expensive and now we are surviving on one income. So, now I'm on another one. The side effects are a little bothersome but then I get to sleep a lot. When I sleep, no illness.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Well, I was back in the hospital last week for dehydration and a serious virus. I've lost more weight. The nausea never stops, just has lighter moments at times. No matter how many meds I'm on I continue to vomit. I have a headache that never goes away, which also does not help with the nausea. Now, because of my history and continued weight loss, very low BP and pulse rate I am on disability for the remainder of the pregnancy.

Monday, February 05, 2007
Well, today was the sono to check on the baby's health, current size, and gender. The baby is measuring about 19w 5d to 20w 3d. Basically, my illness has not phased our precious little one. WOOHOO! My actual length of pregnancy is 19w 2d.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Well, I'm having an "ok" day (I suppose). I finally stopped vomiting Monday evening. So, only have had to deal with severe nausea. I was brave and ventured out of the house yesterday and (finally) bought my youngest new shoes. I am happy to say that I am finally gaining weight. Oh, and Conner (baby bean) is a very active boy. He just loves to kick me, which I have to say I enjoy as well. Him being so active reassures that he is strong and healthy and everything that I am going through is 100% worth it. Also reminds me that I am 100% done with any further pregnancies. I will be a mother of three boys - My Three Sons. I could never be happier.

Saturday, March 17, 2007
I'm having the gestational diabetes test on Monday. I'm so nervous. Not for the results of the test, just want to be able to drink the juice to complete the test. I was successful while pregnant with Preston, however when I was pregnant with Hunter it was very difficult (and that's putting it mildly). I'm now 25 Weeks pregnant with only 15 weeks to go. I am getting so excited that this is almost over and we will be holding Conner in our arms. I'm really curious to see what his hair color will be - blond or brunette? Full head of hair or "barely there"?

Monday, March 19, 2007
Doctor appointment this morning for the gestational diabetes test. It was very difficult. I was not able to drink any juice or soda prior to the test so I was unable to keep my meds down - plain water increases the pill tastes. I fought my way through the orange drink (tastes more like orange flavored sugar) and got through the test without becoming ill. I've gained 3lbs in a month and now have to start taking 2-3 Flinstones vitamins daily. My next appointment is in April.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007
9:18am - just received a call from the doctor's office. They said the results should be around 140 and mine were around 160. Now I have to schedule for the three hour test. How am I going to do this???? I almost lost it in their parking lot after the one hour and I can't keep my meds down with plain water. Why???? I ate dinner the night before the test at 9:30pm but then lost it all during the night. That was the only time I really ate the entire day! I'm not having the typical symptoms for gd, but then with HG would I really show the typical signs???? I'm so scared and upset. This is just too much! If I have gd, then how am I able to eat properly with hg? I go days barely eating at all as it is.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Well, I had my 3 Hour Gestational Diabetes Test this morning.

It was very difficult...only kept the drink down for one hour. After the 1st blood draw (about 10min) I ran to the restroom and the cycle began. I had already pre-medicated with my arcenal prior to the test and it still didn't work. My ob decided that there was no way that I could be expected to do this again so he told the nurse to continue drawing my blood as scheduled - sick or not.

He told me that if the numbers are only moderately high (like the first test - 160) then he is not going to worry about it.

There was a woman in visiting for her 8mo checkup with her hubby and she was suffering from severe sciatic pain, to the point she was losing all feeling in her legs. When my dr was going back into their room (before they shut door) they saw me bolt to the restroom (it was located right across from their room) and be ill. The hubby asked what was wrong and my dr said, "She's pregnant." Then the man asked how far along I was and my dr told him almost in third tri and that I've been sick like that the entire pregnancy. At that moment, according to my nurse, that's when the husband and wife looked at each other and said, "Then what in the world are we complaining about." She does have plenty to complain about, she is experiencing immense pain.

I still feel absolutely horrible right now. Conner very clearly does not like the glucose drink and has been very agitated today. That's not helping with the nausea. I did manage to eat a chicken sandwich a few hours after the test. Hopefully after a couple more doses of my meds and a ton of rest I'll regain some amount of strength before the weekend.

Saturday, March 31, 2007
I am so excited!!! Even though the test was difficult to handle...my scores were the lowest they have seen! WOOHOO!!! My nurse said that the first blood draw (1hr after drinking the glucose) was extremely low and continued dropping as time went on. She said that was excellent and that meant I am producing plenty of insulin for the glucose I take in.

She also said that I may not be a candidate to develop diabetes when I get older either...as long as I eat properly and keep my weight under control. There is always a "but" clause. LOL

As of today, I am officially 6 Months pregnant!!! I have 13 Weeks to go and Conner will be here!!! I am getting so excited and nervous now. There is so much to do...wash clothes, clean the infant carrier, bouncer, etc. My nesting is kicking in. William will be so excited. LOL

Hope everyone is doing well and enjoying the weather!

Thursday, April 05, 2007
Well, after a very frightening morning on Thursday...I had another trip to the hospital. I passed out (no warning signs) twice in one hour.

I was rehydrated and they did a very thorough sonogram and extensive blood work. Baby is doing great and my blood work came back wonderful...despite everything I've been going through I am managing to keep my nutrient levels at the "OK" level.

Last night it became very clear I can no longer take baths. So, now hubby has to help me take a shower in less than 10 minutes or I become too weak and unable to stand and our shower is too small to put a chair in.

The good news, I only have 12 weeks to go. My cousin, whom I haven't seen in forever, is coming in for a visit soon and may be able to be here when the baby is born!

Funny note, hubby is having pains in his back in the same location that I am. Am I having sympathy pains for him or vice versa? In the mornings we make the same noises from our pains. It is a true comedy act.

Monday, April 09, 2007
Had my appointment today. My weight has only increased 2lbs since the last visit (three weeks ago) and my blood pressure was 120/70. I'm now officially seeing my doctor every two weeks! WOOHOO! We are getting close! Oh, and after another month he will start talking about inducing possibilities, etc. (he only induces at 38wks anyway). I still think that I am going to be strong and not induce this time. As long as my blood pressure and everything stays in the normal range and not drop, otherwise I'm doing whatever he suggests.

I'm still supposed to take it easy as much as possible. Although, with Preston that does make it difficult. He was concerned on how much I'm having to tend to him and how much I'm passing out now (almost did at the office). It's hugely due to the way Conner is laying and he presses on my nerves just right and I lose consciousness. When I get the signals (they are mild, but are there) I immediately need to bend over (leaning on something) or lay down on my left side in order to force him to move - he always moves. Oh, the neat thing is I can eat all the sugar I want and Conner does not react any differently than when I have no sugar. I can also handle some caffeine (some days better than others) and he is not phased by it at all. Hope that's a good sign. hahaha

Monday, April 23, 2007
Appointment this morning went well. I have lost one pound since my visit two weeks ago. Also, we are now looking at the due date of 06/23/07. He is not going to let me go further than 9 more weeks and also will not let me go any less than that either (regarding a requested inducement). My blood pressure is finally staying in the normal range...no more bottoming out. So, now my dizzy spells are attributed to normal pregnancy symptoms in the last trimester and the occasional times that Conner presses against my spine.

Tuesday, May 08, 2007
Well, after dealing with ctx all weekend it was Sunday evening when we grew more concerned. Between each ctx (that were more intense and lasting longer) I became very nauseated and was dry heaving. I had four ctx within a 40 minute time frame. Called the on-call dr and she said that we need to get to L&D. Well, lucky me. By the time we get there the ctx stopped. Baby was moving so crazy that they were having a difficult time getting a decent reading from the monitors. Then I had another episode (the exact same kind from the previous weekend at Wal-Mart). That's when concerns started flairing up. Since I already was scheduled to see my ob the next day they allowed me to choose if I wanted to be kept overnight so they could give me fluids or I can go home and continue increasing my fluid intake and take it easy and see my dr. I chose to sleep in my own bed (which I didn't really get to do either). We got home around 12:30am and then HG was around. I was so sick, exact replica of my first tri. I got only 3hrs of decent sleep - in only 1hr blocks at a time. Then I get to the dr. I lost another pound. He checked my cervix (again) and as usual it's still posterior, high and tight. I've also now been placed on weekly visits and I have to keep a close eye on my pulse. During my episode my bp plummeted as well as my pulse and then suddenly there was a spike in my pulse right. During the hospital visit there was a lot of spikes in my pulse rate and I was laying flat, not moving at all.

Now, I'm so heavily medicated on my very strict hg diet (liquid, moderately add high protein foods when able) and I have to stay as calm as possible. Oh, and I get to look forward to another very painful and scary labor like I had with ds #2. My bp dropped so low and my pulse was so high that pain meds were not working on me. At least now I won't be shocked like I was then.

6wks to go and the days feel like they just got miserably longer.

Now I also have to deal with ds #1 being the typical teenager and he has started lieing to me. He tried to pick a fight with me because I told him he couldn't do something and I started stressing out. I actually had to tell my child to get out of my room. I started feeling another episode hitting and actually had to turn my own son away. What kind of mother does that?!

I can't leave the house for any length of time other than dr appts. It just drains me too much. If I am in the car longer than 30min then my sickness starts and episodes begin. The baby is thriving. Very healthy and extremely strong heartbeat. My health is not doing as well. Hubby keeps saying how concerned he is for us to have the baby early because of his health - it's not time and he is more than likely going to have health problems. Umm, yeah but wouldn't it be worse for the mother's health to be in worse shape and risk jeopardizing her own life for a few weeks to make sure the baby gets a little more fat? This is a very stressful time for us and I know he does not want anything to happen to either of us. I also do not think he realizes how scary this is for me and when he cracks jokes it really doesn't make me feel any better. Actually, it stresses me more. Emotionally we are both a wreck.

Saturday, May 19, 2007
Well, I was hoping to have at least one day without getting sick...um, no.

I have now gotten sick and did the wonderful "slide into plate and weepuke" before I had a chance to prepare. Ugh. Mop the floor again.

Oh, and we are having family over today for a birthday party...Preston is 2! Hopefully I can muster up some strength.

Sunday, May 20, 2007
Supposed to have a pleasant weekend...however things have not gone as planned. Yesterday was Preston's 2nd birthday party...although he didn't realize it. lol

Well, during the opening of presents Preston had an allergy fit and was sneezing and had a constant runny nose. Well, one of the last times he sneezed my DH's family started laughing about it and talking about it (not in a grotesque manner, but enough to affect me). I become severly nauseated and had to run to the bathroom. That is when it went downhill. I apparently slipped on some paper and fell (hard) to the floor. To compensate and not land immediately on my belly I brought my knees up and landed most of my weight on them then the fall finished with me landing on my belly. **Not bleeding or cramps and the baby is moving** My knees are now killing me, especially the right one. I skinned it so bad that it bled...the entire knee.

DH had to go out of town this morning and is on his way back - will be home by 10 this evening. It was already planned that my mom was going to stay here in case anything happened. Well, she came over last night and stayed since DH was heading out at 5AM. Today I was trying to do eveything possible to relieve the pain in my knee and muscles in my legs. So, this morning I went to lay back down and slept for 1hr. Couple hours later I decided to soak in the bath (which I do on a regular basis and spend at least 2hrs) and the pain in my knee was finally starting to fade a bit. Suddenly my mom decides that "if you are going to be wholed up in the bathroom and I not know how you are doing then I should just go home!"

I was finally able to calm my nerves and system down, however her fit has thrown me into yet another low bp/high pulse episode, nausea kicking butt and the pain in my knee is so intense. Oh, and when she left....SHE SLAMMED MY FRONT DOOR! Which proceeded to wake up Preston from his nap. Needless to say, my pain and illness did not give me any relief and taking care of my sons continued without a break.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007
My knee was so bad that after my ob appt yesterday (which I had to be monitored for 15min and am the same weight as the week before) I went to the ER. By appearance the staff was worried about a break and more so of an infection. The x-ray techs came in and one had to ask me some generic questions...this is when it got funny.

"Have you recently had a hysterectomy?" Giggling, "No."
"Have you been told you are going through menopause?" Laughing harder, including the couple next to me, "No."
"You are laughing. Why?...Are you pregnant?"..."Yes, 35wks."

She was so embarrassed. Her request paperwork did not advise her I was pg and before she could do anything the head of radiology had to sign off for the x-ray to be completed.

Three nurses and the ER dr remember me from my earlier visits and said that they needed that laugh, too. Knowing all that I've been through with this pg they said the laughter was more than needed. They were also glad that this visit was not part of my typical - dehydration. lol

Well, after all the tests (everyone was shocked with the results), there is no break and no infection. I severely sprained my knee. They said that it will take up to 6wks to heal...so I'm looking at an injury to last until I'm giving birth. The dr was very shocked there was no break because of the way the sprain affected my ligaments. My leg was straight, knee went one direction and knee cap went another. I was very glad to hear that although I have been very ill that I'm still very strong and bones are not becoming brittle.

So, now with a pg belly, I have to learn how to move around with crutches and an immobilizer on my leg. This is a feat in itself.

Oh, my ob appt...all looks very good for little Conner and the earliest my dr will induce is around 06/20. Oh well. DH was very happy to hear that. I was praying for the 15th but I also knew my ob wouldn't be too kean on it because the baby is just now putting on weight. Regardless, only 5wks to go!

Saturday, May 26, 2007
My mom's best friend of 45yrs (she is more like another mom/aunt to me) has cancer.

13yrs ago she was diagnosed with cancer and had to have a full hysterctomy. She started bleeding like a heavy menstrual and went to the doctor. Friday she gets the call. Tuesday she is seeing a cancer specialist. They have to see exactly where it is and all the possibilities that she has. She's already prepared for the worst...it was really bad when she had the hysterectomy.

Her only child is having her wedding shower in 7 days. She is getting married July 21. Why does this family have to go through so much heartache during a time they are supposed to be overjoyed?! WHY?! WHY?! WHY?!

I may be offline for a while. This is really hard for me to deal with. I can't even go see her! My stupid illness is preventing me from seeing her!!!! She lives just an hour away and I can't handle a 30m car ride!!!! She was there when I was born! She is like another mom to me! I was there when she had her little girl! We are that close. Even though time has seperated us while our own families (mainly mine) continuued to grow...she is my second mom and her daughter is my lil sis. When I know I need to be there for them I feel trapped and unable to fulfill their needs. D@MN HG...D@MN CANCER!!!! STOP STEALING OUR LIVES!!!!

Thursday, May 31, 2007
Well, I'm still pregnant. LOL I am having Braxton Hicks contractions every evening (since Saturday) faithfully from the hours of 7pm - 2am. During that time frame they will stop periodically (maybe for 45min) to start all over again. So, this afternoon was my appointment and I was really hoping to hear good news...that there were changes. NO! Of course not. I have a stubborn cervix. So, I'm enduring horendous pain (takes my breath away, stops me in my tracks, can't speak) and then be told that "nothing" is happening. Ugh! Oh well. Deep down I already know my outcome...this baby will have to be induced because of my cervix.

Oh, and after holding my weight for two weeks I have lost 3lbs. I am not getting physically ill as often this week and still lost 3lbs in one week! Seriously, why is it when I want to lose weight (not pregnant) I have to actually work at it, but when I'm trying to put on the weight I lose instead? This is not my kind of diet. lol

Monday, June 04, 2007
After all the stress I'm currently going through regarding my own personal life, I just received the call this morning that I've been terminated from my position.

The reason - I'm still on disability and they need to fill the position. No other reason. I asked,"So when my dr does release me then I have no job?" Their response, "Correct. Your position with the company is terminated."

I immediately called dh and he is now worried about my health status. Stress is a HUGE trigger for my n/v. Everytime it has gotten severly out of control it's because I've endured too much stress.

I just need to remember - God never puts more on you than what you can take.

I must be very strong because I really don't know how much more I could handle.

Tuesday, June 05, 2007
WE HAVE PROGRESS!!!!!

It has been getting pretty rough since Saturday.

10:24PM
My ctx are feeling completely different now. I suddenly feel like my lungs are being squished for a matter of seconds and then my uterus hardens and then I have this feeling of really needing to go potty. My back hurts on a constant basis so I can't pinpoint from there. I also am starting to feel more n/v than usual (even with my added stress lately) and the indigestion is about to kill me. My symptoms are getting worse at night and each additional night the feelings are more intense.

Wednesday, June 06, 2007
5:06AM
Ok, now it's getting rediculous! My ctx have stopped for now (although they tend to do that when I have been physically ill) and I'm starting to make gurgling noises from the nether region. What the heck is that about???? That just started within the past hour.

Spoke to soon - ctx as I type right now. Shortness of breath and all. Where's my sign that lights up and says "It's Time"?

1:00PM
my ctx started subsiding...a lot. I spoke with my nurse and she said that it could be the very early stages of labor and that I would feel better going through it at home since I can walk around. Because of my history I am not allowed out of the bed at the hospital while laboring because they have to monitor me on a constant basis.

After being awake for almost 24hrs with mild catnaps (if lucky 30min), I finally fell asleep. I got one very good hour in when my youngest started whining and then once I got him settled again I opened my oldest's door so that he knew to tend to his little brother. This is when my miracle happened. I climbed back into bed and slept for 90min straight! I didn't even hear the phone ring when DH called to check on me!

My nausea is still pretty intense but I am working at keeping fluids going and was able to eat a little (very little). DH is trying to get home early today so that we can go for another walk. My nurse said that I'm probably repeating history with laboring at night (I did this with both my boys and gave birth the following morning). We'll see how it goes.

My temper is very quick now. I mean off the charts quick. One tiny little thing sends me over the edge and I turn into this horrid evil woman that no one wants to encounter. Hmm, I did that for a couple of days before giving birth to both my boys. I hope that means I really am close.

I need labor vibes. Oh, and the nurse said that they would not do anything to try to stop the labor now that I'm "in" my 37th week.

Ok, now if I can just find a position to deal with this constant pressure in my lower regions. It really does feel like someone is "up" my butt.

3:25PM
The nurse called to check on me and discussed the situation with the partner ob...I'm going into L&D this evening just to be on the safe side. He said that my symptoms do clearly appear to be very early stages of labor, but with this being number 3 and I am 30min from the hospital he wants to make sure I'm not dilating already. As soon as dh gets home from work we are heading in (7-8pm/cst).

Of course, now the ctx have stopped and I'm only dealing with on/off pressure and severe nausea. My ctx are normally stronger at night anyway so with us going in this evening hopefully my ctx are going strong like they have been since Saturday.

Thursday, June 07, 2007
06/06/2007 9:29PM
Well, I'm home now. Amazingly I have learned something new. I was having a mild pain in my back, sort of like a menstrual cramp. Then the nurse said that she will get me a pillow so we can prop my back and see if that eases the pain. The second the pillow was in place and she stepped one foot back I had an incredible pain and the baby was hitting my cervix. I said, "OH! He didn't like that!" The nurse ran over to the monitor and saw that it was a contraction...a big one! I didn't even know. I thought it was just him moving around. A few minutes later I had another ctx, it just wasn't as big as the one before it. Then she checked my cervix. Please remember, I have a very high and stubborn cervix. With ds#2 it would not change for anything, even when he was in station. So I had to endure induction which causes a very painful labor when the cervix is basically closed.

I am a fingertip dialated!!! A huge accomplishment! Now I don't feel like my visit was a total waste. I had real ctx that they were able to monitor and there is a change in my cervix! I am so excited. BRING ON THE PAIN!! Funny, never thought I would be willing to be in pain like that but knowing that changes are happening then it brings me one step closer to holding my little Conner in my arms. I don't care anymore about my fainting "episodes" or how often I am nauseas or physically ill. I am getting so close to holding him physically in my arms. It's all worth it.

Monday, June 11, 2007
We are going to have a baby!!!!

Conner is going to be born on Friday, June 15, 2007!!!!

WOOHOO!!!! I am so excited!

We did a sono this afternoon and the sono shows him measuring between 38-39wks gestation (I am only 37wks 1day) and estimated to weigh 7.5lbs. My dr said he will be closer to 7lbs.

Friday, June 15, 2007

Conner Grant Born: 10:17AM Friday, June 15, 2007 Stats: 7lbs 10oz, 20" My contractions would not stay steady. They would be steady for a few minutes and then suddenly taper off to every 6 mins and sometimes longer. This made the pushing stage last longer than I have ever experienced. I got to experience things this round that I missed out on with my two previous babies. I knew it was time when I started getting sick...before pushing began. This time I got to see my baby be born. That was the most exciting thing I have ever experienced. "That's my baby!!! Oh my god, that's my baby boy!!!" And crying ensued. I still can't get through the entire event without crying. It was the most precious thing I have ever encountered and is the perfect delivery for my last baby. I did encounter some pain (even with an epidural) during the contractions and having to push. I got to feel the pressure of Conner arriving in the world. I got to hold him, bond with him, feed him immediately! The only pain med I received this time was the epidural so that allowed me immediate connection with him (before I had Demerol and it was 4-6hrs before I was allowed to feed my baby). I am so happy. More than anyone can possibly imagine. Tuesday, June 19, 2007 I am suffering "Baby Blues" but more on the part that I feel horrible that my baby can not nurse directly from me. I will have to pump only and bottle feed. Yes, that is better than not being able to provide breastmilk at all but it does still sadden me. I am overjoyed with my son. I just feel inadequate and the confusing feelings of happiness and sadness at the same time have turned me into a mood swing mess...crying and fussy. Oh, then to find out that it is most common for new mommies the second and/or third time around. Geesh! Hopefully this will pass in 48hrs. Seriously, I can not stand crying this much! I'm not a cryer. 'Course, to see me like this today one would disagree with me. LOL It also doesn't help that I "miss" my Preston. I'm not supposed to lift him for 4wks - he weighs 30lbs. I'm also needing to be very close to Conner right now (he is only days old) and Daddy and Big Brother are keeping him (Preston) busy so that it "feels" like he doesn't "need" me. I know, crazy. Stupid "blues". Saturday, June 23, 2007 Conner's first checkup! 7lbs 4.5oz, 20 1/4" Dr. said we will be having weekly weight checks to make sure he is gaining weight and wants him back to his birth weight. That saddened me knowing my breastfeeding issues and he has no steady eating routine. We'll see how the week goes. Friday, June 29, 2007 Weekly weight check! Woohoo! He did it! He now weighs 7lbs 11.5oz. No more weekly weight checks and his next appt is on his 2 Month Birthday. This will be his first round of vaccinations (well except for the one shot after birth, which we both got). On the 30th we are going to family's for a July 4th celebration. His first holiday!!! I will be taking a ton of pictures!! Also, if we are able to do fireworks (more like the innocent kind that stays on the ground and sparklers) then I'm also going to use the camcorder. Preston will have his first "hands on" experience! I still have the blues but have been reassured it is the normal postpartum baby blues and exhaustion. So, once we can develop some form of normal sleeping patterns hopefully then I will be able to feel a bit rested and less stressed. Preston is now starting to show signs of having trouble adjusting to his new baby brother. More on the aspect that Conner takes up a lot of mommy's time. He is refusing to take naps and even though his "2's" are hitting he is also being a little more defiant than the norm. Whew, do we have our work cut out for us. LOL Tuesday, July 03, 2007 Update on family friend from my journal post on May 26, 2007. I've been waiting for my update about a second opinion on my second "mom's" cancer. The news are the exact same as received originally, this time from a world renowned cancer facility. Now the hard part, decisions. Does she go through a very radical procedure that will change her entire life and still not provide her with a guarantee of life expectency let alone how her body will react to the greatly needed healing process - will she go into a coma, will she experience a severe infection, etc.? Does she only handle chemo which will only give her one extra year on her already given 1-2yr life expectancy? Does she forget all the treatments and accept that she may only have 2yrs left to live? She is so young and still has so much to experience in life. Please remember her and her family and pray that they can get through this difficult time. Thursday, August 16, 2007 Been a while since my last update. I have been diagnosed with Post Partum Depression, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Bipolar. So, now we are trying out a med to help with my symptoms and not feel quite so overwhelmed with life. Been on them for two weeks and has helped a little but can tell they are not strong enough (they wear off before evening). Conner is suffering from his first set of vaccinations. Fever that won't break, excessively sleeping and when he's not sleeping he is screaming (not just crying) and is barely eating. He is also suffering from a ton of gas because of all the screaming. Luckily he should be better by the weekend. More information about his appointment is in the Milestone section. Preston has reverted to "baby" now and I am having to delay potty training. Thankfully he is not trying to take Conner's bottles. Preston prefers his own cups. He is wanting me to hold him more often and in the cradle position. Also, when at home he likes for me to carry him around instead of him walking (but he is in toddler mode with Daddy and Hunter). He will even climb into Conner's crib during the day and then cry out for me to pick him up. Yep, jealousy has taken a place in our home for now. Hunter is starting 8th grade and first day of school is on the 28th. He is excited about going back to see his friends and get a little break from Preston (yep, Preston LOVES his big brother), but he is also dreading it because then he has to start dealing with homework again. LOL William is doing well. He is working hard and is exhausted at the end of the day. The heat is not helping him at all and his back has been aching more lately. I keep hoping that he will be able to get a break soon and not have to deal with the heat as much (tractor truck has no a/c) and work load is a little easier on his back. Friday, October 19, 2007 Finally posting an update. Conner is still teething, my the drooling. Coming up on the next round of vaccinations (appt is 11/02) so needing to get prepared for that one. Preston is still showing jealousy and Daddy saw it this morning when he was holding Conner and Preston started crying about it. At least now he knows what I tend to all week. LOL Hunter is dealing with school. He loves socializing but he wishes he didn't have to deal with all the school work. LOL Not many teens like paperwork. William is now with another company and is loving that he is not breaking down his body. We are just working on the schedule adjustment (company operates 24/7). It does make me miss him more and he's not on my nerves as often. LOL My health is going well. Meds were increased and I'm not suffering as much. Now just working through PTSD (it's hard but doable). Tuesday, March 18, 2008 Conner is able to stand without support for several seconds at a time now. He's now saying mama, dada, and mimic sounds we all make. He loves to be free to roam and nose (yes, he's very nosey). LOL Preston is going to be seen for ECI (Early Childhood Intervention) to see what he qualifies for (i.e., speech therapy; hearing tests). Hopefully we can get him enrolled for speech therapy very soon and he will be able to speak more clearly by Christmas (that is my goal). I am also looking at enrolling him in daycare for part-time schedule so that he is able to be involved with more kids his age and get used to the structured classroom environment now before Pre-K. He does not adjust to change very well and needs a lot of time to prepare. That's fine by me. Means he won't be my adrenaline junkie. LOL Friday, November 14, 2008 Preston is now in PPCD (ECI dx with Autism) which is a preschool class that is organized through the special education department. His class has three additional students and all are autistic, various degrees. Preston is considered verbal and we are focusing on that. He is not learning sign language or picture association to use instead of speaking. He is also going to start riding the school bus. He LOVES the bus and so far it looks like the only person struggling with the concept is mommy. I am having a hard time letting go. He's my baby. hehehe Conner is picking up words like crazy. Not able to say all of them very well yet but he is saying them. He is also a dare devil. Big time. Has no fear and wants to be in everything. Very inquisitive. Always wants to learn, be in the know. Hunter is in high school. Hates school but loves being with his friends and the new atmosphere. Now if we can just get him to at least hold passing grades in his subjects. I am hoping to start potty training in December, closer to Christmas. Preston was showing great signs at one point then suddenly just as quickly regressed tremendously. If we can get Conner started maybe Preston will be happy to follow by example. I hope, I hope, I hope. Preston and Conner got their haircuts today. Preston did AWESOME!!!! First time ever that he never screamed during the process! AWESOME!!! Yes, the cuts are expensive but being the stylist is trained to work with autistic children and be patient, more than worth the money. William even stood up from where he was to see if the cut even started yet! HAHAHA It was so amazing that Preston never, ever screamed! Well, until after the cut when he was playing with the trains. But that is a completely different situation all together. HAHAHA Wednesday, November 19, 2008 Preston now rides the school bus to and from school! He absolutely loves it! My big boy. I am so proud of him. Thursday, March 05, 2009 We are creating a family tree. One that includes as many full, blooming branches as possible. Friday, May 08, 2009 As a precaution, ECI is going to evaluate Conner for Autism. He has forgotten some words and is now starting to have meltdowns, including banging his head. Preston doesn't bang his head during his meltdowns anymore (been quite a while) so not sure where Conner is picking that up unless he is showing autism tendencies. Chose not to do the wait and see like we did with Preston. The earlier we start, the better. Conner is showing sensory issues and his eating habits are changing dramatically. A sign we really do not like to see. Of all the signs and symptoms, the eating concerns us the most. Hopefully we can figure out what is going on quickly and start correcting some the behavior.